Culture Shock 😲

What's it like being in India? How are you adjusting? Don't you love it?

We all love going on vacation. As you relax on beautiful beach, feeling the warm sun and breathe in the salty sea air, or as you walk through verdant park filled with luxurious trees and vibrantly colored flowers, or as you witness a picturesque sunset on an awe-inspiring landscape, I'm sure you've thought to yourself, 'I would love to live here! These people have it made, to live in a place like this every day must be amazing.' And I'm sure you've asked yourself how much would it cost to buy a house there or rent, or fantasized what you'd need to do to make the move to your dream location.

All too quickly, the vacation is over and you have to go back home to the daily grind.  You realize that during the vacation, you were a tourist and had a free schedule to do anything, everything and nothing. It was that freedom you enjoyed along with the beautiful surroundings. But for the locals, they were doing exactly what you are doing at home: waking up everyday to go to school or work, trying to earn money to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads, and yes, occasionally enjoying the beautiful scenery, although not as much as they'd like because they're so busy with everyday living.

But what if you had the chance to move to your dream spot permanently? Would you love it immediately and love it forever? Whenever you move, you have to adjust to your new surroundings, whether it's another part of town, another part of your country or a new nation altogether. Probably the biggest hurdle will be adjusting to a new culture and a new way of doing things. Brace yourself for culture shock.

What Is Culture Shock?

According to one dictionary, it's "a state of bewilderment and distress experienced by an individual who is suddenly exposed to a new, strange, or foreign social and cultural environment." It is commonly felt when people move into a new environment with its own set of norms and values that are different than their own. It happens in stages, which I'll outline below (for some good reads, check out other articles on culture shock below).  As you read through them, you can see how they could apply to not only moving to a new location, but when you are new to any environment like a new job or being at a new school.

1. The Honeymoon Phase: Everything is wonderful, amazing and fantastic.  You love everything, even the crazy chaos makes you chuckle.  What was everyone else talking about? You LOVE it here.
2. The Culture Shock Phase: The newness has worn off, the rose-colored glasses have shattered. You are frustrated and annoyed by the tiniest thing. You don't understand why the people and processes don't function like they should, like normal. You ask yourself: "Why is everything so HARD? Why can't things just be EASY, like at home?"
3. The Adjustment Stage: You have a greater understanding of the people and culture and why they do the things they do. And if you don't fully understand why, still you are more understanding and flexible, adeptly coping with the ambiguities.  Your patience has grown stronger and you're no longer annoyed.  In fact you're starting to enjoy yourself again, though not to the degree of the honeymoon phase.
4. The Adaptation Stage: You feel right at home in your new spot. Is everything perfect and exactly like your homeland? No, but you're cool with that and you embrace and love the differences between your two homes and the things that make them the same.
5. The Reintegration Stage: There's a saying that 'you can't go home again'. With culture shock, this is true too. Things at home are exactly the same, but now you are different.  You have the best of both worlds. You love both cultures the same because they are different.

Where I Am in the Stages of Culture Shock

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure.  I think I moved out of the Honeymoon stage somewhere around month three, but some things are still fun and exciting, while others annoy me beyond belief. Some weeks vacillate between honeymoon, culture shock and adaptation; even some days or hours.  And for some things, the culture shock is purely situational. Let me show you what I mean.  Take a look at the picture below.  What color ink do you think these pens have?

I had purposely left my myriad of color pens at home because I had to decide if bringing multi-colored pens with me was as important as bring my favorite type of gum, because, of course, neither could possibly be purchased in India (if it weren't for the weight restrictions, I would have transported my entire room and everything I've ever hoarded with me).  The gum won out, and I left my pens at home.

During one of my weekly trips to a Walmart-like store called Smart Bazar, I spotted a pack of pens and tossed them into my cart. A few days later, when I was ready to start using them, I started with the blue pen. Blue pen, blue ink, no problem.  Another week later, I pulled out the purple pen and started using it. I thought 'Wow, this really looks like blue'. So I took the purple pen and the blue pen and kept drawing lines to see if I could see the difference. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, or maybe I just got a bad batch.  By the third week, when I whipped out the orange pen and there was blue ink, I said 'Wait a second' and I took out the other pens an they were ALL blue ink. I was so annoyed.  I thought, 'These pens are exactly like how the rest of India is. Any normal human being (ahem, American) would see a pack of different colored pens and should rightly expect the ink to be differently colored too.  Why is everything so backwards and illogical? What is wrong with this place?' I felt like the pens were a consummation of every frustrating experience I had and every expectation that had failed to be met.

A few weeks later, I was still on the hunt for a pack of multi-colored pens.  I was back at the Smart Bazar in the pen section to see if they had the pens I wanted. I picked up the pack to see how much it costs (which is something else that is very different than the US) and I noticed that on the back it said "INK COLOUR: BLUE".  'Wait a second', I thought.  And I picked up several packs and all of them had the color of the ink written on the back !!! 😩 

And that's when I realized that it's not India with a problem, it was me. I had to reset my expectations and realize that people do things differently here, I just have to figure out their system. I eventually bought a pack of 10 multi-colored pens from a local stationary store for ₹100 ($1.20). It should've been ₹120 ($1.44), but I guess the guy was being nice. And the pens are of really great quality, much better than anything you'd get from the Dollar Tree for that price.  

So as far as buying pens are concerned, I'm in the Adaptation phase.  But as for other things, like catching the bus or having to carefully watch where I put my foot with each step every single time I walk out of the apartment, I am thoroughly immersed in the Culture Shock phase 😖and I don't think I'll be out of it anytime soon😑.

Additional Reading on Culture Shock

• Adjusting to a New Culture (Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs: Exchange Programs)
• Culture Shock Stages: Everything You Need to Know & How to Deal (Go Abroad)
• How to Deal with Culture Shock While Abroad (Go Overseas)
• How to survive the 5 stages of culture shock and thrive (Arizona State University)